How We Knew

How do you know you’re in love? That question has been asked for years and years and will probably always be asked. How do you know that the person you’re with is the right one for you?

For us, we each had a defining moment when we knew, that we knew. Funny thing though, we almost never had the opportunity to fall in love. As a matter of fact, neither of us thought we’d have a second date. Fortunately, God had other plans……

 

My first date with Chris was pretty much a disaster. Nothing went right. I spent the whole night talking about Texas (I had just moved back to Virginia) and he only wanted to talk about his truck. I won’t bore you with all the other details that night, lets just say it wasn’t a good first date and neither of us planned on a second date. But, thanks to our good friend Mike, who convinced Chris to go with me (and my nephew) to Chuck E. Cheese’s, we had a second date and fell in love that day.  I am forever grateful for Mike and that mouse named Chuck E. J

Fast-forward a few months later to a Friday night when Chris was picking me up for a date. He drove up to my house as I was running through the yard screaming for my dog that had escaped from our backyard. I had curlers in my hair and make up running down my face along with lots of tears.  Seriously, it was not a pretty picture. That's when Chris had his defining moment.  He had two choices - (1) hop in his truck and never look back, or (2) stay with me forever. He chose to stay with me, tears and curlers and all. Whew!  

For me, it was completely different. We were at our favorite place, Nags Head, walking through a parking lot, when he told me to look away because there was a dead bird on the ground and he didn’t want me to see it. That was my defining moment – silly, but that single incident let me know how deeply he cared for me and it sent my heart over the edge. I’ve been madly in love with him since.  

So, how do you know you’ve found Mr. or Mrs. Right? I believe everyone has that moment when you know. You just know. In the meantime, pray about your future spouse and listen to your heart and wait for your defining moment.

 

Sandy

(Chris has been a little busy with the new schedule so I thought I'd do it this time!)

 

The Super Husband - Venus vs. Saturn

This one is for the spouse that’s trying to attain that “super status” in their marriage.

Is it possible to reach a "giant status” in this marriage thing?  And, are there keys to learn how to reach that perfect relationship between a man and woman?  I don't know but I can suggest some good used punching bags, dartboards and archery targets with Sandy’s picture on it that have helped me from time to time.  LOL

All kidding aside, I feel that trying to reach perfection in any relationship, even marriage, is a hard road to travel.  Seriously, who can say they know two people on this earth that think 100% alike all the time?

On the other hand, striving to reach maturity and respect for each other is paramount, in my opinion.  I would like to share a couple examples of this idea:

1. There is one sentence I no longer say to Sandy………..”I told you so”.  Enough said.

2.  When the occasional argument pops up, I always strive to keep in mind, that as a man, I look at most things from a totally different angle/perspective than she usually does.  Guys, it’s a fact that our brains are “hardwired” on a completely different circuit (or planet) than women!

By taking these thoughts in consideration, and the fact that Sandy’s mom is from West Virginia (just kidding Ethel), I have learned patience and see improvement in my responses during an argument.

A funny note:

Most that know me understand I love drums! One time in the past I was at a local drum shop, and behold my dream set was on sell - yes a “once in a lifetime opportunity!”  I did something totally backwards to my male logic ….I called Sandy and asked her to talk me out of using the money we made on the sale of our house to buy this drum set.  Well she did (by the way, that dream set was called “The Saturn Pro”).  After all was said and done, I realized I had achieved another level of maturity in our relationship.

So, what I’m trying to say is don’t try to be a Superman in your relationship with your spouse (or anyone).  Love is the goal.  Arguments will happen, but the right response will actually help you grow from the arguments and make you a better spouse.

One final thought, the Apostle Paul was a great example of this in his life.  He had a wonderful idea about being called a super Christian (aka Superman).  “If the Corinthian Church thought Paul was weak and different than the “super apostles” that was okay with him because he desired them to see the Glory of God expressed in his weakness and not to see him as a great or super apostle.

Chris

Date Night

Do you have date nights?  If not, you should.  Date nights are exactly what they sound like, a date, only this date is with your spouse.  You should try to do it as often as possible.  Once a week would be great, but at least once a month.

I know it can be hard with kids at home to do this, especially when they are little.  If you don’t have family near you that can help out and watch your kids for a little while, try to trade off with a friend.  Get creative and brain storm on how you can have a few hours alone with your spouse.  When our daughter Keli was little we didn’t have date nights as much as we wanted to (or needed to), but we worked really hard to do it as often as possible. 

Dating was awesome before you were married and it can be awesome the whole time you are married.  You and your spouse can decide on what type of date you’d like – movies?  Dinner?  Picnic lunch?  Any way you two can get alone and focus on each other is great.  Dating keeps the sparks flying and gives you something to look forward to.  After all the years Chris and I have been together I still get excited when we plan a date night. 

I personally like a date night at home making dinner together.  We have a lot of fun cooking together (until Chris starts doing his Julia Childs impression!).  If you choose to have dinner out, don’t forget to check the online coupon deals for local restaurants. 

Dessert can be a great date too.  Run by Sweet Frog or Cold Stones and get some ice cream and sit outside and eat together – remember, anything can be considered a date as long as it’s just the two of you.

Oh, and don’t forget to do date-like things --- like hold hands and kiss (ya, even in public).  Dating is for rekindling so, get romantic!!

Make date night a priority in your life…..your marriage will be stronger if you do!

I'd Marry You All Over Again!

Starting the blog ......

I'm Chris, my wife Sandy and I have been married for almost 29 years.  We have been blessed with a strong marriage and we'd like to share some experiences that we've had together and some thoughts about marriage in general.  We hope this will encourage and strengthen you and your marriage. 

We also would like to hear your ideas.  Please comment and join in the discussion.

I WOULD MARRY YOU ALL OVER AGAIN!

We titled our blog "Let's Do It Again!".  One of the things we say to each other all the time is "I would marry you all over again".  While thinking about a title for our blog, we decided on "Let's Do it Again" (get married again).

Get married again?  Why would we want to marry each other again?  We hear of people renewing their marriage vows, do people really say that to each other?  Do they think about doing it?  Sometimes Sandy and I laugh when we say it, but we do say it often, even over silly things (like me sifting the litter box for her or her getting the right oil filter I wanted from the auto parts store).  

 

I like to think it's kind of the same thing as falling in love again.  You keep doing it all the time, why not renew your vows to each other again?  You don't have to go through a formal ceremony, but telling each other you'd do it again is almost just as good!

When Sandy and I look back at our vows to each other, and to God, we know it's a lifetime commitment and what better way to remind each other about that than to say "I'd Marry You All Over Again!"

Chris (and Sandy)